I’m getting ahead of myself …

What an odd expression. Like it is possible to stay even, let alone get ahead of anything these days. Although I suppose it might possibly explain Deja vu … that feeling that you have been there and done that, and took a million pictures of the occasion. Deja vu does in fact feel as if you were ahead of yourself and are now meeting yourself coming back from going. So, I guess in that instance you could say that you indeed got ahead of yourself.

However, “I’m getting ahead of myself,”  is most often heard in the fog of some long drawn out saga told by a drone … not the hovering type of drone, but some boring human drone with a voice guaranteed to make your teeth ache, and your eyes water … the yada-yada yenta type. It is an expression used primarily to twist an endless narrative back to its starting point, and indicates that you will still be waiting for the real point of the story to be reached long after everyone else has gone home! Seriously, no one is that interested in the side bar of any story that includes this phrase. So, if you catch yourself saying it, BEWARE!

But, I digress. In fact, I am merely trying to get ahead of myself, and so far, have not had much luck with it. I am trying to sneak up on the me that has no will power and stashes snacks in the car in hopes that I will forget that they are available for consumption. As if that is even remotely possible. I mean, if it is there, and if it is really good, and if it will destroy your diet, then I will never forget that it is there. I will hunt it down and hoover it up. My bad self is the ultimate hunter/gatherer type.

So, in anticipation of summer … the season of the unforgiving bathing suit, and ice cream flab … I am trying to get ahead of my bad self. I tippy-toed into the first phase by clearing out anything in the way of fun food from my pantry. I told my bad self I could finish what was there but not replace it. I no longer have any salty, crunchy, fatty, or tasty stuff either in the pantry or in the car. I am left with saltines, and canned goods. There is a hole where my pantry used to be. The up-side is that I have discovered a number of ways to increase the caloric value of saltines, but the down side is, once they are gone that’s it!

Sigh. What I wouldn’t give for a fabulous sticky roll right about now!

Getting ahead of my bad self is a real battle. However, while I struggle against a yen for fast food, the real war is being waged against my innate inertia. There is no part of me that feels the need to expend energy beyond what is required for basic human existence. Exercise holds no interest for me. In my universe, standing up and walking to the fridge is really all that one needs in the way of exercise. So, the war against my lazy bad self has become a real slug fest. My good self has had limited success so far in enforcing a daily exercise regime. And for those days when I lose the battle, I have found that walking around the house while on the phone works pretty well as a fallback position, along with grocery shopping and taking out the recycle. Whatever works.

However, nothing will ever work as well as good weather in the fight against inertia.  I am looking forward to the end of the winter doldrums, when my good self can take the high ground and declare a truce with my bad self … when exercise will once more be part of my general activities … when I am able to garden … and when I am able to walk outside without freezing my cheeks.

And, who knows … maybe by then I will be over even caring that my bathing suit looks a lot like a taco shell and nothing at all like beach wear.

But, I get ahead of myself … we haven’t even gotten to spring yet.




  1. Then there’s “Vuja de.” Similar to Deja vu, but backwards. It’s the feeling you get when you know you’ve been somewhere hundreds of times, but each time you go it feels like you’ve never been there before.

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